How To Talk About Hiring Home Care Helpers
#6 Tip: Hire Home Care Helpers
Asking for help or admitting you need help can be hard.
Start the discussion with simple chores like getting the lawn mowed and ease into sensitive topics like showering and vision or hearing changes.
Home Care
The idea of a fresh hairdo done at home, a mowed lawn, a clean house may be welcomed. Needing help with showering, dressing or getting safely in and out of bed or dressing can be much harder to admit to. When you’re talking with your loved one, listen for cues. But keep in mind what normal is for them – you’re looking for out-of-character changes
- Change in tone or topic – do they sound exhausted, downhearted, or avoid personal topics?
- Test the water with simple topics. Add a conversational touch by bringing up ways you or someone you know gets help and how much they love it.
- Look for cues that the home needs more care.
- Talk about how someone close to you has done work on their yard, house (roof leaks, paint, windows/doors that don’t close right), garage door, etc.
- Mention any maintenance you may be doing and ask if they’ve had any similar problems.
- Check for vision or hearing changes.
- Can they understand what you’re saying over the phone?
- If they enjoy reading books or news, or watching sports, find out if they have changed their habits – this may indicate visual or cognitive changes.
- Discuss cataract surgeries or new eye glasses for people close to you.
- Talk about how someone close to you just can’t seem to understand what you’re saying.
- Look for signs that your loved one is having difficulties with daily personal care.
- Video chat can show you whether they look thinner, clothes look unusually wrinkled or dirty, hair greasy or not brushed, or house messier than normal around them.
- Talk about their day to day activities – any details you gather can be clues to needing help with cleaning, driving, shopping, cooking, self care.
- If they have pets, watch for signs of neglect. Do they need a dog walker or someone to help clean their cat’s litterbox?
- Try to find out simple things like:
- where they sleep (often people who can’t get in and out of bed safely will sleep in a recliner or chair, for example)
- what they had for dinner (can be signs they haven’t shopped or are unwilling or unable to cook for themselves)
- dressing to go out with friends (do they feel “presentable” for going out in public or having friends over)
- last haircut or styling
- recent well-care exams done? Not just blood tests, heart, and lungs, but eyes, ears, and teeth?
- Start with help they seem more comfortable with.
- Suggest a trial for a few weeks. Then discuss how it’s going – help them look for the nice things about someone else doing their chores.
- Make sure any medical obstacles to self-care are treated (eye glasses, hearing aides, health conditions not yet treated)
- Stay in touch and suggest to friends and family they bring up the topic – concerns about what’s needed and advantages of getting help.
- For elders, geriatric care managers may help organize a plan and convince your loved one of the usefulness of care at home.
- Professional in-home caregivers may offer support in your decisions and practical ways to move forward.
The folks you rely on for wellness checks (neighbors, local friends and family) can be invaluable in resources for figuring out when your loved one needs more help at home. Ask to be contacted about any lingering changes in mood, mental clarity, personal or home maintenance – changes that seem out of character. Stay in touch with doctors and nurses, too. If you are concerned, bring up your concerns and help set up appointments for checkups.
Home Care Services
Once you’ve established your loved one needs help at home, start with a list of what’s needed. Now it’s time to talk about hiring and scheduling caregivers. The idea of someone else doing their “chores” may be welcome to some, but others may not like the idea at all. Imagine yourself in their position and express sympathy for their feelings.Use local resources to find the home care your loved one needs. Local friends and family can point you toward lawn care services, hairdressers that do house calls, house cleaners and other types of maintenance care. Professional home care companies provide home maker services as well as help make the most of any insurance plans your loved one may have. Ask locals for references.